Summary: Aragorn faces the consequences for his actions. The sequel to "It Seemed Like a Good Idea"
Disclaimer: I don't own them and I'm certainly not making any money from this.
A/N: This short tale of silliness was written because nautika asked for a sequel to "It Seemed Like a Good Idea".
This is one of the two ideas which popped into my head but the first wasn't funny at all and so it went on the backburner
in favor of this one. I don't think this is laugh out loud funny but it is slightly humorous and the best I could do under
the stress of moving. I hope you enjoy.
The man moaned softly as the earth beneath him shook, Aragorn knew he should open his eyes and find a safe place
during this earth shake but he could not convince his tired body to budge. When the earth stopped shaking the man breathed
a sigh of relief, and was about to fall back asleep when he was hit full in the face by something cold and wet. The ranger
pried his eyes open and stared up at the ceiling, blinking several times to get the shape above him into focus; he had almost
accomplished that task when the shape reached down and started shaking him, "Estel, get up! We must move quickly!"
Finally Aragorn regained enough of his senses to identify the being, "Legolas, please stop shaking me"
the man hesitated, "and could you stop shouting?"
"We don't have time for you to lay about in bed, ranger." At a look from the man the elf continued, "And
I am not shouting, it isn't my fault you drank too much." The elf didn't say another word but pulled the man into a
sitting position and began putting on the ranger's boots.
As soon as the boots where on Aragorn flopped back on the bed and threw his arm over his eyes, "Are you happy
now? Go away."
Refusing to give up Legolas grabbed the man's arm and pulled him all the way to his feet, "Come, we don't have
time for this." The elf held the man's arm and started sprinting down the corridor while explaining, "We must get
away before they find us."
After running the length of the hall Aragorn's head began to clear and he pulled his arm away from his friend, determined
to run on his own. "Just what are we running from?"
The elf never answered instead he grabbed his friend's arm again and threw him into an alcove diving in after him.
The man rubbed the shoulder, which had just connected forcefully with the wall and glared at the elf. Legolas put his finger
to his lips and pointed out into the corridor. The man was shocked when he looked the direction the elf was pointing only
to see a mob of elves run by with torches and he thought, empty wine bottles held like clubs. As soon as the mob had passed
the man turned and looked at his friend, "Where are they going?"
Legolas didn't miss a beat but jumped to his feet and peered around the corner of the alcove, "Your room most
likely, come we have little time to waste. They will come this way when they find you are not there."
The elf started to run into the hall but was quickly pulled back and turned around by an anxious man, "My room?
Why are they looking for me?"
Legolas had to repress a laugh, the man had arched an eyebrow as he asked that question and it looked ridiculous
with only half of the tiny hairs remaining, the others being singed off in the explosion the night before. "Why are
they looking for you? Why are they looking for YOU? Well it may have something to do with that little explosion and the
disruption of the feast not to mention the loss of the wine! We are wood elves Aragorn we love our wine. Now come before
they find us." The elf didn't waste time uttering another word but stealthily moved from the alcove and down the corridor,
hoping to reach the stables before they were seen. At each corner Legolas flattened himself against the wall and peered around
the corner, searching the new passageway for elves. The duo had made good time through the palace when suddenly the king
stepped into the passage ahead of them and Legolas threw his friend behind a large potted plant, toppling in after him.
As soon as the king has passed Aragorn irritably shoved the prince off him, "Is this really necessary? Would
it be so bad if we were caught?"
Legolas' eyes grew to the size of saucers, "Don't even joke about that; now come on, we are almost to the doors!"
Aragorn watched his friend leave their hiding place then shook his head, wood elves, what was the big deal about
ruining a little wine? Despite his indifference the ranger didn't wait long before following his friend out into the corridor.
True to the prince's word it wasn't long before the pair reached the front doors. Once outside, Legolas relaxed slightly
but encouraged his friend to keep moving. They were almost to the stable when suddenly an angry mob of elves materialized
from around the end of the building. Legolas' eyes became huge in his head, he yelled, "run!" and took off for
the forest edge. Just as he had made it to the trees he heard an "oof" behind him and turned his head to see the
ranger laying on the ground with the other elves gaining on him by the second. The elf prince didn't hesitate but turned
around and ran to his friend; he was just lifting the man when he felt a restraining hand on his arm, "My lord if you
and the human could come with us, your father would like to see you."
Legolas dropped his head in defeat, they had tried so hard and yet it was unsuccessful. The elves led the two captives
to the throne room where there was a large and angry mob waiting for them. Both elf and human were led to the front of the
crowd which shocked Aragorn, "Legolas if this is all because of what I did, you need not stand here with me, none of
the blame belongs to you."
The elf turned to face the human and smiled softly, "Nay, my friend I would not abandon you to this fate."
Aragorn wanted to ask what the prince meant when suddenly the king appeared in the room and everyone fell silent.
Thranduil stared hard at the ranger, "It has been said that you are responsible for the explosion and resulting loss
of wine Strider, ranger of the north. Is this true?"
Aragorn cleared his throat and chanced a glance at the crowd around him, the elves looked very angry and, Aragorn
noted, were carrying empty wine bottles, "I am afraid so my lord, but, it was an accident. I didn't intend to ruin everyone's
The king nodded wisely, "Be that as it may, you still must be punished for your actions." The king turned
to the assembled crowd, "What say you people of Mirkwood?"
Aragorn was very surprised when every elf started hitting their wine bottle against the flat of the opposite hand
and chanting, "wine, wine, wine." Aragorn thought that perhaps the lack of wine the night before had gone to the
elves head's, what did they mean by such an answer?
The king, however, seemed undisturbed by the response and calmly looked at his son. "Legolas, do you intend
to share the punishment with this ranger?"
Legolas swallowed and tried to keep his voice from shaking when he replied, "I do, my lord."
The king nodded and smiled sadly at his son, "So be it. The two of you are sentenced to the tub until which
time all the wine which was destroyed has been replaced."
Aragorn turned to his friend to ask what this punishment consisted of but was stopped when he was prodded in the
back by a guard, "Silence human."
The human nodded and tried not to panic as he and Legolas were led out of the room and to the cellars of the palace.
Nobody spoke a word and the small party didn't stop until they reached a large room that held a huge stone tank, which had
stairs running up the side. The guards smiled grimly at the prisoners, "Take off your boots and stockings and roll up
Aragorn was about to protest when he noticed Legolas obediently doing as the guard said then climbing up the stairs
and into the tank. Seeing no reason to argue Aragorn did the same and soon found himself standing in a vat of grapes. "Yuck!"
Legolas spared him a glance, "That is an understatement ranger. I hate crushing grapes, they get in-between
my toes and . . ." the elf was unable to finish his sentence as he fought a gag reaction.
Aragorn noted the reaction with shock but wisely decided to remain quiet, a reaction like that had a story behind
it and if he was lucky he would hear it before their task was done.
The two friends continued crushing grapes until the small fruits were getting to that mushy state where none of them
were whole anymore but neither were they completely crushed. Seeing the sticky mess under his feet Aragorn looked quickly
at this friend to ensure he wasn't watching then bent down to pick up some of the gooey mess and chucked it at the elf, hitting
him on the back of the head.
Legolas immediately stopped and turned to glare at the ranger, "What was that for, Estel?"
The man smiled back, "What, this?" he asked as he again threw some mess at his friend - this time hitting
him in the middle of the forehead. "What's the matter prissy elf, you can fight orcs but can't stand to crush some grapes?"
The man wasn't intending to be mean but the endless stomping was getting to him and he needed an avenue for his frustration
- Legolas was the only target handy.
The elf picked up some of the mess and threw it back at the man, "I can but I would rather not and would not
be here if it had not been for you."
The man picked up some more grapes and threw them, "You're the one who volunteered."
By this time grapes were constantly in the air hitting man, elf, walls, ceilings, doors - basically anything which was
in range. Legolas ducked then replied, "I couldn't make you face this alone."
The man narrowed his eyes, "Have you done this before?"
The elf threw a large batch of muck, "Once when I was an elfling, I got locked in the cellar and was thirsty. I
drank a half barrel of wine, after they found me and I sobered this was my punishment."
The man doubled over and started laughing, "You were probably the only drunk elfling in all of Arda."
The elf stopped throwing grapes and started laughing as well, "Yes, ada was so disappointed."
"Stupid elf", splat.
"Stupider human", splat.
As the elf and human continued their grape war they never noticed as the door to the room opened and the king entered
with his wine steward. The steward raised an eyebrow at the happenings and asked, "Aren't you going to tell they about
the masher?" he asked pointing to the huge device which was normally used to crush grapes.
The king shook his head and quickly backed out of the door, closing it behind him, "Yes, but not until they have
managed to coat that room in grape." The steward looked at him questioningly, "Then they will have to clean it
and refill the bin. All of which will keep them out of trouble until the ranger has to leave."
So it was that the king of Mirkwood became the only being to ever house Legolas and Strider under the same roof without
either of them sustaining an injury.